


Blind Trust

by Crickett_89



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Harry Potter Needs a Hug, M/M, Molly Weasley Bashing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character Severus Snape, Poetry, Severus Snape Has a Heart, Severus Snape Lives, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24342751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crickett_89/pseuds/Crickett_89
Summary: Harry has saved The Wizarding World, but who is there to save him. The one who has always saved him.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Severus Snape
Comments: 24
Kudos: 127





	1. Chapter 1

The warm summer breeze danced on his skin as Harry flew, leisurely moving through the air. He looked down at the place that he has called home for the last two years. The Burrow has been completely remodeled, looking better than it ever has. Of course, it still has it’s unique built but beautiful. 

The sky was turning it’s beautiful warm oranges and pinks as the sun was setting, Harry couldn’t help but think about everything that had happened. He couldn’t believe how the war ended. Who all lived, who all died. 

The ones who died haunt his dreams every night. There hasn’t been a night that he has actually fallen asleep without having a nightmare. 

The worst was when he saw the faces of his two best friends staring at him, with a dead look in their eyes. He knows that how they died was completely his fault. If only he could have saved them. They were heroes... more so than him. 

Harry was supposed to die, he was ready to die so that everyone else could live. He shook his head, he wasn’t a bloody god, so why is he sounding like one. 

Molly should have hated him, her youngest son died because of him. Thankfully she didn’t lose any other family members. Ginny left as soon as she could, living her dream as a professional seeker for the Holyhead Harpies. The twins threw themselves into their store, Percy works all the time. Bill is taking care of his family and Charlie is still training his dragons, who have begged him to come visit. He just couldn’t .Harry was the only one left, he couldn’t leave Molly. 

He didn’t want to be alone anymore, what made things worse is the one person that he wanted to be with, to talk to, to apologize most to is not dead no. He has been in a coma for two years... Two years... the healers told him that there wasn’t anything wrong with the wizard but his magic needed to heal. 

The venom from the bite took so much out of the wizard plus all the blood loss. That once it does he will be back to his normal self. Harry finds himself visiting Severus Snape every day, to read to him about potions, talking to him about how Ginny was doing in her career, the other day reading how Blaise Zabini and Neville Longbottom bonded. Which was surprising to Harry thinking that that might wake the man up. 

This morning when he went to visit like he did everyday. He found out that Snape’s magic was fully healed and should be waking in a few days. The man that he wanted to live is going to live, would he be happy to find out that he is going to? Or was he like Harry, thinking that this war was going to kill him. 

Still circling around the wizard took in a deep breath. He has never felt so calm and so peaceful as he does right now. This broom ride was exactly what he needed, Snape is going to recover fully. As a hero better yet, Harry made sure that he fought for the ones that shouldn’t have gotten thrown into Azkaban. Malfoy being the second on the list. Yes Snape’s case was a little harder but after everything Snape has done for him, not to mention Harry being in love with his half-blood prince since his 6 th year. It didn’t matter now, the debt was paid. He thought finally his job was done. 

Harry pulls his broom as he climbs into the sky, the wind now almost taking his breath away with how fast he was going. He flies higher until he is satisfied with his view. Harry moves slowly until he is now standing on his broom looking down at his home, then looking up into the sky. 

“Mum, Dad, Sirius, Ron, Mione.... I can’t wait to see you...” Harry smiled as he stepped off his broom, soon he will be with the ones he loves, and where he should have been after the war. The ground slowly approaches, his mind blissfully blank. 

He closes his eyes, the wind is all he could hear it will be over soon. Not hearing the screams, feeling himself getting closer to the ground. He opens his eyes up seeing he wasn’t that far away now but he notices he isn’t alone anymore but, they were too far away for them to do anything. He hated the fact that they would have to see this but it’s too late this is what he wanted. 

The ground came closer and closer, hearing a spell being screamed, it was too late or so he thought, his head slammed into the ground. His body was levitating in the air, but the world went to a beautiful peaceful black. 

\----- 

The hall was very quiet most of the long term patients were tucked in for the night. Healer Rosewood stood looking over paperwork as a ward went off. It couldn’t be... they said that it would probably be until tomorrow. Running towards the last room on the left, the healer white robes bellowing behind her. She froze when she saw the man sitting straight up onyx eyes looking wild. 

“Mr. Snape, please I need you to calm down... Do you know where you are?” The potion master’s trembling hands went to his neck but the wounds were healed; all that was left was scarring. 

“St Mungos?” The man grumbled out, gods his mouth was dry... It couldn’t have been that long could it? At least there wasn’t any pain, how was there not any pain. It couldn’t have been that long, he doesn't even know how he is still alive.

“That’s right Mr. Snape... You are...” He moves the hair that has fallen in his eyes, that is one of the first things he is going to do to fix his hair. Finally he doesn’t have to play the gross potion professor, he could be himself for once in his life.

“So I'm assuming that the brat did it? Because I'm not dead... if he didn’t I would surely be dead... Or maybe you are getting me well enough so I could fully enjoy being kissed by a dementor.” Severus wasn’t quite ready to be as snarky as he usually is. 

“Mr. Snape, I'm not sure what you are tal....” Before the healer could finish, there was a call. 

“All staff to emergency, repeat all staff to emergency.” Snape watches as she smiles and walks towards the door. 

“I’ll be right back Mr. Snape.” Severus sat listing, he heard that name but it was followed by he fell off a broom.... Potter falling off a broom? Potter never fell off a broom unless someone jinxed it. With a scowl he stops thinking about Potter on his broom. Of course it wouldn’t matter if Severus was okay, as long as the golden boy was... Then something flashed back in his mind, it was Potter’s voice. He heard it, all the time. He couldn’t have been here everyday, and if he was, he must have not been out that long. 

Flashback 

“Can you believe it Severus!? One of your snakes married a lion! Neville Longbottom and Blaise Zabini married! Good for them huh Sev, at least there is some happiness in this world,” hearing a sniff, “Don’t worry Sev there is plenty left to live for! You just have to get your strength up. Please get your strength up.” Then he felt a squeeze of his hand, Potter was holding his hand?

End of flashback. 

Severus Snape waits as the threat of whatever happened to die down. When Healer Rosewood walked in she looked tired, and shaken. Potter must have been hurt pretty bad, he did always have trouble following him. Of course he didn’t have Severus to look after him, no wonder he fell off of his broom. 

“It’s good to see you, Mr. Snape. I’m sure you are very confused by what has happened. You have been in a coma for two years.” Severus gasped, there is no way that he has been out of it for two years. “Your body had to heal, your magic core was dangerously low. We don’t know how you survived. If it wasn’t for Harry Potter you wouldn’t have made it.” Severus scoffed; he knew it would be because of that brat that he is alive. Potter saved him, it seems like the tables turned, Severus didn’t know how to think about that. Of course though it didn’t matter who he was, Potter would have saved everyone because he wanted to be the hero. Even when they didn’t want to be saved.

“Well I'm sure he got all of the glory for saving a poor death eater's life. Bloody Potter has to be the one to run to save the day. So, am I to assume that there are Auror standing outside of my door to take me to Azkaban as soon as you release me?” The healer became red in the face, and crossed her arms. 

“Harry Potter, who you are talking about, came in here every day for the last two years, to read to you, talked to you, even slept here. He is the one that went in front of the ministry and accepted your Order Of Merlin.” Order if Merlin?!? That can’t be right… Severus sneered how dare this woman come in here and talk to him with such disrespect. He tried to set up, which he did with just a little bit of a problem. His muscles were unable to move how he liked, being in the same potion for two years didn’t help either.

“If Potter is so grand and wonderful why is he not here now? Must be off playing house with his girlfriend. I know that everyone wants to glorify what Potter does.” What if he didn’t want to be saved, and now Potter gets to live a happy life and Severus gets to live alone and unhappy. 

“That is because Harry Potter was brought in attempting to make himself fly. Apparently after saving everyone's life, no one was there to save him from himself.” Both the healer and the potion master’s eyes widen. He knows that the healer shouldn’t have told him that. His heart was in his throat, that stupid man. Why.. Why would he have done that? 

“Is... Is he dead?” Severus has spent too many years saving him, for him to kill himself. If he was dead Severus was going to bring him back to life only to kill him, himself. Rosewood ran her fingers through her hair. 

“No he is not dead... we have him in a magically induced sleep right now. While he is healing...” Severus blew out the breath that he was holding.“Unfortunately he won’t heal completely. We couldn’t fix everything.” What did she mean she couldn’t heal everything.. She was a healer was she not?

“What do you mean” Severus snapped but the healer held up her hands. What kind of incompatent healers do they have working here?

“I cannot tell you anymore. If you would like to know more once you get your legs back moving you can go see him. His chart may or may not be in there,I know you are a potion master you will want to see for yourself but there is nothing that we can do.” Severus wasn’t going to take that as an answer. He was going to make sure that stupid boy wasn’t going to kill himself if Severus had to live. 

\------

Harry felt heavy, like the weight of his body was holding him down. Finally, it worked. He was dead, he had to be, his eye lids felt as heavy as the rest of his body. A sharp pain went through his body as he tried to move, if he was dead he wouldn’t hurt would he? It would be just his luck to be in just as much pain dead as he was alive. 

With a groan he tried to open his eyes again, feeling his eyelids flutter up he freezes. Everything was dark still, why was everything still dark. Harry shot up, his head snapping from side to side seeing if he could make out anything but all he saw was darkness. His heart was pounding out of his chest, was this hell? Hell must have been real, why else would he be hurting right now and unable to see. 

With a shaky hand he feels around. He must be in a bed of some sorts, throwing back the covers he places one foot on a very cold floor followed by his other foot. With a deep breath he pushes himself off the bed, all to fall back down on it. A growl escapes his lips as he tries again, and this time he was successful. That was until he tripped over a chair, which sent him face first onto the floor. 

Harry heard and felt a painful crunch, as his nose made contact with the hard floor. “FUCK!” He screamed as he felt blood rush out of his nose, willing his body to move but it didn’t it was tired. He was tired.

A bang of what he guessed was the door hitting the wall made him jump. “HARRY!” Molly Weasley’s voice shrieked. Harry felt himself start to cry, he couldn’t even bloody kill himself. Soon those tears turn into tears of anger. “HEALER ROSEWOOD! “

Harry jumped again as he felt a hand on his face brushing back his fringe. “I’m so sorry dear, I should have told you I was going to touch you.” He wanted to scream at her and yell but the pain was too much right now. 

“Oh! Mister Potter! You should have stayed in bed!” A woman’s panic voice joined in. “Don’t worry we will get you back into bed and fixed up right away. I’m going to cast a levitation spell okay, try not to fight it.” She said again her voice was calmer now. Harry felt the magic rush over his skin wanting to fight it but too weak to. “I’m Healer Rosewood, you are at St. Mungos.”

“Oh Harry!” Molly sobbed as he felt himself being lowered back onto the bed. He wanted to tell them off he wanted to scream but he just sat there crying. They couldn’t just let him die.

“Okay Mister Potter, I’m going to fix your nose okay.” Once again Harry didn’t answer, as the magic now concentrated more on his face. The blood was gone now as well thankfully. “There you go Mister Potter, here is a potion it is going to help with the pain.” Harry flenched as he felt a hand on his and then the smoothness of the bottle hitting his palm. 

His hand slowly made his way up to his mouth, closing his eyes he gulped down the potion. It worked almost instantly. Harry opened his eyes again, the darkness still there. 

“I’m blind.” He said more as a statement than a question. The world being completely black was enough proof. Molly sobbed again, Harry wanted to yell at her. To tell her this was all their fault, if they didn’t try to save him he wouldn’t be here like this. 

“Yes Mister Potter, you are blind. The blow to your head when… when you fell off your broom. The muggle medical term is Traumatic Optic Neuropathy, the damage is irreversible. I’m so sorry Mister Potter but there is nothing that we can do.” He heard footsteps moving closer to him. “Don’t worry I’m just checking your vitals. Now after something like this happens Mister Potter, we usually keep the patient for a while. Especially the nature of the fall.” Harry was livid, there is no way that he was going to stay here. All he wanted to do was to be left alone, to die but he couldn’t even do that right. He wouldn’t try again, not after this. 

“What do you mean by the nature of my fall?’ Harry spoke for the first time hearing a gasp from Molly. “I just fell off my broom, I’m sure that many people come in here for broom related injuries. Is it because I’m Harry Potter, that you are acting this way?” The word seeped out of his mouth, he was angry he felt his magic crack around him. He didn’t want to stay here any longer than he needed too. It already was going to be bad enough when the papers get a hold of the story. 

“How could you do that to us Harry! It wasn’t just a fall off the broom, you purposely walked off your broom! You should have told us that you were feeling that way!” The older witch said as he felt her hand in his. “Y...You stepped off your broom Harry, you didn’t fall. Why didn’t you tell us how you were feeling?” Molly shouted out, as if he was an errant child. 

Harry felt something in him snap. “If you wouldn’t have come outside you wouldn’t have seen this. Fuck why couldn’t you stay in the fucking house. Then none of this would have happened. I would be finally done with everything. Don’t I deserve some peace!” His magic lashed out making it hard to breathe in the room. 

“MISTER POTTER!” The healer's voice broke through. “You will be staying with us 4 weeks, that will be for treatment and therapy. You will learn how to feed yourself, dress yourself and make sure that you will be able to live independently.” Harry felt himself grit his teeth, 4 weeks in this fucking place.

“Then you are going to come home.” Molly said in her no nonsense tone. Harry actually laughed out loud. 

“Like hell I am. I’m never going back there, I tried Molly. I tried to be there for you, to be the son that I got killed but I can’t. I can’t do it anymore, being there is too much. I’m so bloody angry right now, I want you to leave. I am sorry that I got Ron killed but I can’t Molly. LEAVE NOW!” Harry looked where he thought the woman was, tears streaming down his face as he ripped his hand out of her. 

“I think you should leave Mrs. Weasley. You are upsetting him and I have to be able to calm him down so the potions will work properly.” Harry heard the screech of the chair against the floor and another sob as the door slams shut. 

“Mister Potter, may I call you Harry?” The wizard didn’t even verbally respond, he just nodded. “I know things may seem.” He quickly cut her off, how would she know. How would anyone know?

“You don’t know, no one really knows okay. Please just leave.” Harry turned over hopefully facing the opposite direction, closing his useless eyes. If only he could fall asleep and not wake up.

\-----

Severus hated physical therapy, he wasn’t old nor incapable of walking and moving. Yet he was still forced to go, being a war hero and all. War hero he thought to himself, he was not a hero, far from it. Thankfully this is his second week going, after this week he can leave, and start his life as a free man. He wouldn’t admit that he is scared to be alone and to start over but he will do it. Since the choice was made for him, he never thought that he would live after the war. He didn’t want to live after the war.

The matron helped him walk down to the therapy room, as he walked in he saw someone that he didn’t think that he would ever see again. He was actually trying to avoid him, he wanted to go see what was wrong with him but he couldn’t bring himself to. 

Potter looked the same, messy black hair longer than normal, he was wearing gray sweats and a black pull over. His arms were crossed, and he sat with his eye fixed to the floor. An older man walked up to Potter, and sat down next to him. That must be his therapist. 

“Harry, how about we try to take a walk around. We made a lot of progress a couple of days ago, let’s try that again.” The wizard ran his hands through his thinning hair trying to convince the brat to actually walk. 

Still looking at the ground Harry spoke. “How about you just say that I walked around, because I don’t want to do it today. I’m just going to sit here and wait until my time is done. I had a mind healer appointment. I can only do so much in one day.” He snapped out. 

Severus rolled his eyes, of course he wasn’t going to do it. Why would he think that the boy would change, he thought that he would have but. Then saw the tears in Harry’s eyes, Severus’ chest tightened. 

“Come on Severus let’s get you going.” The witch said as she ushered him in, with a shake of his head Severus cleared his throat. 

“Give me a minute please.” Straightening up Severus took the couple steps over to the savior of the wizarding world. The younger man’s head cocks to the side as he heard his footsteps, yet his eyes didn’t move. 

“I see you are as bratty as every Potter.” The potion master said with a snarl. “These therapists have much better things to do than to deal with your tantrums.” Harry jumped as he heard his voice, his head snapped up and his eyes searched around the room, not once making eye contact with him.

“Sev.. Snape! Y..You’re awake!” The younger man’s voice cracks, at least he could still scare the foolish boy.

“That I am, now why are you not doing your physical therapy? I’m sure that your friends are awaiting your speedy recovery.” Once he does recover he is sure that Harry would marry the Weasley girl, he wonders why he hasn’t heard about anyone visiting him. They have said he keeps to himself in his room.

“My friends are dead, I have no one waiting for me. So, I have no reason to do this physical therapy. Now if you excuse me Snape, I’m going to go back to my room.” Before Severus could say anything Potter’s matron walks up and grabs his arm. He watches the younger man to be led out of the room. 

His therapist looked over at him and smiled. “I might have you come to every one of his sessions, that is the most passionate that I have seen him since he came here. At least I know that there is fire in there. He is not ready to use it but it’s there.” Of course Harry would be that passionate about hating him.

“That is one thing I have always been able to do and that is to make Potter angry. Now I need to get to my session. I want to be able to leave this horrible place.” Severus walks over to his own therapist, his mind still on Potter. He is going to save Harry Potter again, it's his life's mission. Not to mention that he forced him to be alive. So Potter doesn’t get the easy way out. 

\-----

Harry still couldn’t believe that Severus saw him there. He knew that the man hadn’t been released yet but he didn’t think that they would ever cross paths. That is the last thing he wanted, Severus survived and can have his own life free from everything. That is what he wanted for the potion master, him seeing Harry would just bring up his old life. He doesn’t deserve that, even if Harry was in love with the older man. They would never be together because Severus doesn’t feel the same way.

He sighed as he moved a little in the chair that they put him in. He shouldn’t be in bed all day, or that’s what his therapist said. Why does it matter anyways, it’s not like he could see out the window. He just wanted to go somewhere it didn’t matter where, as long as it was secluded. Maybe a place where in the middle of nowhere near a stream or lake. Though it didn’t really matter because it’s not like he can see anyways. If only they would have let him die, he wouldn’t have to worry about anything. 

“Sulking again Potter?” Harry felt himself jump as he heard his old potions professor. He continued to ‘stare’ straight ahead,ignoring the older man. “I see you are still acting like a child. Well until you want to talk to me I guess I will talk for the both of us. Or I should say read. Which I assume you haven’t read anything more than Qudditch through the ages.” Harry wanted to say something but he couldn’t, he really didn’t want Severus to leave. 

“ Suppose, By E.E. Cummings.” Severus read, his voice still as perfect as it was before the snake attack.

**suppose**

**Life is an old man carrying flowers on his head.**

**young death sits in a café**

**smiling,a piece of money held between**

**his thumb and first finger**

**(i say “will he buy flowers” to you**

**and “Death is young**

**life wears velour trousers**

**life totters,life has a beard” i**

**say to you who are silent.—”Do you see**

**Life?he is there and here,**

**or that, or this**

**or nothing or an old man 3 thirds**

**asleep,on his head**

**flowers,always crying**

**to nobody something about les**

**roses les bluets”**

Harry just sat listening to the older man, his chest tight. If he didn’t love the man before he loves him now, but why is he doing this? It’s probably because you did it for him, he feels like he needs too. Not because he wants to. 

**“ yes,**

**will He buy?**

**Les belles bottes—oh hear**

**,pas chères”)**

**and my love slowly answered I think so. But**

**I think I see someone else**

**there is a lady,whose name is Afterwards**

**she is sitting beside young death,is slender;**

**likes flowers.”**

“Why are you here Se.. Snape? You don’t own me anything, if you feel like you do I promise you don’t.” Harry turned his head to where he thought Severus was, he thought that he was lonely before. Now with the loss of his sight he was alone in the dark.

“Mister Potter, I assure you I’m not here because I think I owe you something. I’m here because I have to save you once again.” Severus said smugly. Harry wanted to scream, he didn’t want him to save him.

“I don’t need you to save me Snape. What I need people to do is to leave me alone.” He stood up quickly, reaching his hands out as he made his way towards his bed. His foot hit Severus’ chair as he moved, feeling himself fall. Arms wrap around him and he freezes, Severus was holding him. This was something that he has fantasized about since year 6. Harry fought the urge to bury his nose in the surprisingly strong chest. They stood there for what seemed like hours, this is the first time in a long time he felt something besides hurt. It actually felt like Severus wanted to hold him. That was until the older man spoke.

“Oh poor Potter, obviously you need someone to save you. Why else would you jump off your broom? Don’t you have an adoring fan club?” Harry pushed out of the man’s arms quickly, how dare. Of course why would he think that Severus would want to hold him, to be anything but a git towards him. He knows that Severus does try to push people away and that he has to wear that mask to keep everyone out. 

“My fan club, you mean my two best friends who died during the battle? Or do you mean the millions of witches and wizards who watch my every move. I just want to be left alone, I wanted to die and be with people who actually love me. I have nothing to live for Snape.” He stumbled over to his bed turning over not facing where he knew Severus was. He heard the potion master move closer to him.

“Did you give me a choice, Potter? You saved me, I was ready to die. I was planning on dying that night and you.. You had to play the hero. You couldn’t though could you. All you could care about is yourself, had to be the hero. Now I will be here every day just to make sure that you will make it and live because that is what you did for me. If I have to live and be miserable so do you!” Harry flinched as Severus lashed out at him. Then he heard the older man sit down again, and he started to read again.

**Hollow men**

**“We are the hollow men**

**We are the stuffed men**

**Leaning together**

**Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!**

**Our dried voices, when**

**We whisper together**

**Are quiet and meaningless**

**As wind in dry grass**

**or rats' feet over broken glass**

**In our dry cellar**

**Shape without form, shade without colour,**

**Paralysed force, gesture without motion;**

**Those who have crossed**

**With direct eyes, to death's other kingdom**

**Remember us - if at all - not as lost**

**Violent souls, but only**

**As the hollow men**

**The stuffed men.”**

**\-----**

The week went by quickly as did another and another. Severus has been with Potter everyday, reading, talking, he even read the Qudditch scores to him. There would be days that Potter would talk back to him, then there were days that he would yell and fight, days where he would do his therapy. The progress was moving forward. All but eating a proper meal, and unfortunately Severus was there for the first proper dinner that he had. Harry would normally just eat finger foods, nothing that he would have to use proper stemware. 

“Potter, if you want to be a part of society again you must learn how to use a knife and a fork.” Severus places his silverware on each side of Potter’s plate. “Your fork is on your left and your knife is on your right.”

Harry’s fingertips slide over trying to find the fork and knife, seeing a smirk on his face as he finds them on the first try.

“Picture your plate like a clock Harry, the beef is on 12, your potatoes are at 6, carrots at 3 and buttered rolls are at 9 “ Severus watches as Harry focuses with his knife and fork in his hands. 

Harry moves his silverware over where the meat should be, placing his fork and knife into the meat and cutting he stabs a piece bringing it to his mouth he curses as it falls into his lap. 

“Fuck me!” Harry feels around for the meat and throws it back on the plate or what he hoped was the plate, pouting like a spoiled little brat.

“Try again.” The potion master said, he didn’t think that this would come easy to him. Potter probably wouldn’t talk to him for the rest of the night after this but it would be worth it. He needed to be able to feed himself. 

Potter growls as he picks up and spears more meat onto his fork, leaning forward more he sloppily gets it into his mouth. Now moving to the potatoes making sure he had some on his fork he does the same motion and takes the bite. Severus was proud, he was actually doing it. That was until he wanted a bite of carrots. Which ended in tragedy, all the carrots either on the floor or in the bed with him. 

“I can’t fucking do this Snape! I will just live off of sammys and crisps.” Severus rolls his eyes as he looks at the younger man, his raven hair was longer than it has ever been. He looks like a grown man, not that teenager that tried to get himself killed. His face has lost all of it’s boyish features, his jaw was more angular and always had a five o’clock shadow. 

“You will not live off sandwiches and crips, I’m sure when you get a girlfriend she would want to eat something more than sandwiches.” For some reason he didn’t want to think about Harry having a girlfriend. Harry? Potter! Not Harry. The younger man grabs the buttered roll and bites into it.

“I won’t have to worry about that Snape. I’m gay so I would have to worry about my boyfriend not wanting to eat sandwiches for every meal, but seeing as I’m never going to have said boyfriend I’m not worried about it.” Harry stuffs the rest of the roll in his mouth, then a smirk graced his lips. Did he just smirk? Severus never knew that Harry was gay. Not that he had a problem with it, that would make him a hypocrite. 

“Well Potter, as a gay man myself. I would not want a partner who only ate sandwiches and crisps.” Severus watched as the younger man’s face blushed? He didn’t say anything that should have caused that. “Plus you will have a boyfriend one day.” 

Harry’s head fell down as he took a breath. “I don’t think so, the only reason a man would want to be with me is because of my status. But I will try again, only if you bring me chocolate frogs and you read more of Poe tonight.” There was sadness in the younger man’s voice as he brought his head back up and speared a carrot on his fork successfully this time, watching him place it near his mouth. Severus caught himself studying the younger man’s lips and how the bottom one was perfectly pillowed. 

After their meal, which took about an hour to eat, with only a few more curse words. After Severus and Harry sat by the window drinking tea as he read. The older man was reading Poe because the brat wanted it.

**Alone**

**“From childhood's hour I have not been**

**As others were; I have not seen**

**As others saw; I could not bring**

**My passions from a common spring.**

**From the same source I have not taken**

**My sorrow; I could not awaken**

**My heart to joy at the same tone;**

**And all I loved, I loved alone.**

**Then- in my childhood, in the dawn**

**Of a most stormy life- was drawn**

**From every depth of good and ill**

**The mystery which binds me still:**

**From the torrent, or the fountain,**

**From the red cliff of the mountain,**

**From the sun that round me rolled**

**In its autumn tint of gold,**

**From the lightning in the sky**

**As it passed me flying by,**

**From the thunder and the storm,**

**And the cloud that took the form**

**(When the rest of Heaven was blue)**

**Of a demon in my view.”**

Severus watched as Harry listened to every word, he placed his cup on the table then with a flick of his hand a blanket moved over towards him. He covered up both of them, which made Severus stop but only for a moment. 

“Thank you Severus. I’m sorry that I saved you, I just couldn’t let you die. You deserve to live.” Harry closed his eyes as Severus looked over at the younger man, something changed in him. 

“Don’t be sorry that you saved me, it seems that maybe I have a second chance in life. So you are welcome Harry because you deserve to live.” Severus sat reading more poetry as Harry fell asleep in the chair. 


	2. Chapter 2

Harry sat in his bed, it must be early morning. Severus wasn’t there yet, he hasn’t been in a couple days.

Severus sent him a greeter, the opposite of a howler. Severus spoke about moving into his new house that he bought and that he would be back in a couple days. At least his favorite morning matron was there.

This was his last week at the hospital, he didn’t know where he was going to go. It doesn’t really matter anyways because he has refused to do anything for the past two days. They will not let him go home if he doesn’t complete his therapy. 

A knock on the door made him jump, it wasn’t Severus he never knocked. Great someone trying to make him do therapy, he was hoping to see Severus before then. 

“Come in.” His voice grumbled as he turned over, it had to be towards the window he felt the warmth from the sun on his face.

“ You know I wouldn’t have believed it if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. Harry Potter backing down on something. I mean I had a feeling you always fancied me at Hogwarts, if you wanted to see me you didn’t have to treat the rest of the therapist like shite.” A familiar voice says, who is that? Whoever it is he doesn’t want to deal with him.

“Whoever you are I’m not doing therapy today, so you might as well just leave. I didn’t fancy anyone in Hogwarts either.” At least not a student, he thought to himself. The therapist didn’t take the hint, soon he felt his bed move. 

“I’m hurt Potter, you don’t know me by my voice. Adrian Pucey, you know dashingly good looking Slytherin, wonderful chaser? I know you remember me.”   
  
Pucey, yes that was Pucey but why is he here? In all three weeks since he got here he has never had Pucey. 

“Okay so we don’t do therapy today, I’ll just sit here and watch you give up.” Harry huffs out a breath and closes his eyes, maybe if he will ignore him he will go away.

“ I hear that Professor Snape visits you everyday, except the past couple of days. Is that why you don’t want to because you feel like he left you?” Pucey’s voice changed, it was softer. Was that compassion he heard?

“I don’t care if Severus comes and visits me, he feels like he owes me something. I don’t want to do therapy because I don’t see the point. Why are you here anyways? I didn’t know you were a therapist, or are you a mind healer?”

Adrian chuckled as he felt him move slightly, getting more comfortable he thought to himself. 

“Okay so you think Severus does this because he feels like he owes you, is that because he saved your life? I’m neither by the way, well not really, I specialize in pediatric blindness. So that is why I’m confused that I’m here. Most of the time I have to deal with 3 year olds who don’t want to do their therapy, now if you are a good boy and take a walk with me I have a lolly with your name on it in my office.” He could hear the smirk on Pucey’s face. 

What a prat, they send in a pediatric specialist. Harry sat up and was about to go off until he felt a hand on his. 

“I know how frustrated you must feel Harry. I can only imagine, but you do have a lot to live for. You are brave, smart, kind and attractive. There are people that want you to be here, did you know that Molly has called and checked on you every day, Remus Lupin I believe he is your godfather, he has come and checked up on you. He didn’t want anyone to tell you because he is afraid that you are mad at him. Come on Potter one little walk, I heard that Severus was coming back today. By the time we are done he will be here. So come on let’s go get breakfast, I’m buying.” 

Harry listened to everything the man said, he wasn’t brave or smart and why would he call him attractive. Not that Pucey wasn’t good looking he does remember him being very attractive but straight, but maybe he wasn’t. He didn’t care if Molly asked for him, but it did hit him that Remus wanted to know about him even though he never reached out before.

He was hungry and he did want to be here when Severus got there and it doesn’t seem that Pucey was going anywhere. 

With a big sigh he sits up. “If you give me five minutes to get changed we can go.” Harry threw the covers back as he felt the other man get up off the bed.

He carefully placed his feet on the cold floor and walked over to the wardrobe. Severus and he put it together one day, shirts on top shelf, trousers on second shelf and third shelf had pants and socks. 

“Okay I’ll be right outside, it is a date so make sure you dress for it.” Adrian said as he walked out, Harry flicked his wrist but the stinging hex hit the door. He picked something from each shelf, once dressed he slid his fingers through his hair and walked towards the bathroom, fumbling around he found his toothbrush and toothpaste. 

It was easy knowing his room he has been there for weeks now, the thing he needed to get better with was the unfamiliar. He quickly brushed his teeth and made his way to the door, opening it he took a deep breath.

He The smells and sounds overcome him, it happens everytime he stays in his room too long. He reached by the door to find his white cane that was folded up neatly on top of the table. Shaky fingers glide over the metal as he grabs and pops it out to its full length. With a few test taps he makes his way out of the door.

“ About time, I figured you would stand me up.” A smug voice said beside him, “Now I want you to just forget we are in St Mungos let's pretend that we are out in muggle London. I could go for a good english breakfast couldn’t you?” Harry wanted to roll his eyes, this is ridiculous. 

“It’s kinda hard when you were standing right outside my door and would come in if I went back to bed.” The younger wizard starts to walk down the hallway moving his cane around, not caring if Adrien was following him. 

“That’s true, normally my patients are younger and don’t want to go to bed. So what are you planning on doing when you get out of here?” Pucey asks as they continue to walk, straining his ears to hear and letting his magic make a small barrier around him. He wasn’t planning on doing anything when he got out of here, he wasn’t supposed to get out of here.

In the perfect world he would be married to Severus, travel and maybe have a family one day. Not ever seeing that happening he really doesn’t have any clue.

“I don’t have a plan, I really need to find a place to stay. I’m not going to go live with the Weasley’s, I do have properties everywhere but I don’t know.” Not seeing or hearing the child that ran past him he stumbled a little bit but was quickly in unfamiliar arms. The person smelt like parchment, ink, fruity and expensive cologne. 

“Easy there Harry.” Pucey’s, it was Pucey who was practically embracing him in the hallway at St. Mungos. He seemed taller than he was in Hogwarts, and not that he was squeezing them, but the muscles in his arms are bigger. Harry felt himself blush, which he shouldn’t have. 

The shorter wizard pulled away quickly getting his balance back, he continued down the hallway. Ignoring the fact he was the closest he has been with someone who wasn’t Severus in a while. 

“I’m sure Severus will be helping you, I don’t mind helping either if you would want my help.” Pucey sounded too interested in helping him, but why? Because you are the bloody savior of the wizarding world. Why else would anyone want to be with you. Harry thought to himself, he hasn’t had a real relationship, why would he. 

“I’m sure I will figure out something. I am going to want to turn a left up here correct?” Harry wanted to change the subject and he knows that the lift is close and it will take them to the 1st floor where cafetiera is located.

“Yes you will want to take a left up here to the lift. So you do know what you are doing, you just don’t want to? Why is that Harry?” Pucey seemed closer and his voice was lower.

“I thought you said you weren't a mind healer, so what’s with all these questions. You got me out of my room, I’m going to eat breakfast. You are doing your job, don’t try to do anyone else.” Harry hated all the questions, he wanted to get breakfast and then go back to his room.

Then hopefully Severus will be back so he could see what the man has been up to. He is the only one that doesn’t continue to ask if he is okay or if he needed or wanted anything, or how he was doing. He would tell Harry to eat yes but wouldn’t beg, no he would demand. 

“Okay we will stick to other topics, seeing as this is a date I’m assuming you are single.” He barked out a laugh, he wasn’t sure why it was funny. This guy is such a prat. 

“Pucey, this isn’t a date. This is therapy, I don’t date.”

“So you are saying if a tall, classically good looking, intelligent wizard who normally wears all black asks you to breakfast you wouldn’t?” The other man said with laughter in his voice, Harry could tell there was a smirk on that face and right now he would love just to hex it off.

“I’m saying that there is no one that would ask me to breakfast that didn’t have alternative motives, and no I don’t think I would have to worry about a wizard like you described would ask me to breakfast or any other meal times. Now can we please just go get something to eat so I can go back to my room.”

\-----

Severus walked into St Mungos a little happier today, he has found the perfect house. He wouldn’t admit that he missed Harry. It has only been a couple days and he knows that when he walks into the room he doesn’t know what Harry he is going to get. The brat gets to leave soon and he has been asked if he would allow Harry to stay with him.

Severus wanted to say no immediately but he didn’t he stood there and said yes. Of course he wasn’t thinking clearly, but he couldn’t take it back. He knows that Harry isn’t going to come quietly either, but he refuses to allow him to wallow in self pity.

After he gets on his feet he will find Harry a place to live and he can be alone for once. 

So lost in thought by the time he made it to the brats room he heard talking. At least he wasn’t yelling at anyone. Not bothering knocking he walks in and sees a man sitting on the chair next to Harry by the window. 

Harry was glaring at the other man as he began to speak. “You Pucey will never have the pleasure of taking me out on a real date. This was just breakfast, therapy breakfast better yet. Seeing as I did perfectly you won’t need to come back tomorrow.” 

Adrian Pucey that’s right it was one of his snakes. Therapy, but then it clicked he remembered what might have drawn him to this profession. 

Might as well make himself known. “I see that you have made a friend while I was gone.” Severus’ tone was flat and unimpressed. 

“I wouldn’t call him a friend, more like an annoyance! I thought you finally gave in and decided not to come back. I don’t need anyone here.” Harry said his voice trying to convince himself more than Severus. 

“Oh don’t let him lie to you it was a great first date!” Severus raised his eyebrow, first date? He has never seen Pucey with Harry before.

Not that it mattered really, he knew the brat would find someone.

“You wish it was a first date, now will you leave. I’ve eaten breakfast and actually went out into the world.” The younger man crossed his arms and tilted his head towards him. 

“Fine, but I’ll be back tomorrow for breakfast again. I’ll be here every morning till you leave, which should be next Monday. So I’ll see you tomorrow.” Pucey said with a smirk, for some reason Severus didn’t like the fact that he was going to be there next breakfast. 

Breakfast is when Sevuer and Harry would read the news. He watched the other wizard walk out of the room and take his chair.

“A date huh?” Severus not keeping the laughter from his voice. 

“No it wasn’t a date. Gods he was annoying, speaking of annoying why are you back? I figured since you have your own home now what is the point of coming back to this place? I figured you would be enjoying peace and quiet. Not being here with someone you loathe.” Harry’s face moved down, as if he were looking at his fingers.

“I enjoyed my quiet time, now it’s my time to pester you. There is something that I need to talk to you about Harry.” He watched the young man fidget with his fingers as he bit his bottom lip.

“What?” The younger man snapped out, taking a deep breath the potion master began to speak again.

“You will be coming to stay with me after your stay here. I’ve already talked it over with your healers. You will stay with me until you are ready to find a place of your own. I know what you are going to say and I’m not doing this because I think I owe you something. I’m doing this because no one should have to live in St Mungos, they should have their own quiet space.” Severus watched the younger wizard as he crossed his arms, his face tented a deep shade of pink.

“What if I don’t want to live with you Snape? You are not the easiest person to get along with. I know that you say you don’t hate me, but are you going to hate me when there is nowhere to escape?” 

The potion master already figured out everything that is what he has been doing the past couple of days. 

“I will be able to leave you when you become too much. I will always be around if needed but I have my potions lab which I plan on being most of the time. We will have meals together, but after that you are free to do what you please. As long as it doesn’t involve me. Now that is settled, I’ve brought more poems today that I think you might like.”

Severus started to read before Harry could say anything else. 

**We Wear the Mask by Paul Laurence Dunbar**

**We wear the mask that grins and lies,**

**It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,**

**This debt we pay to human guile;**

**With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,**

**And mouth with myriad subtleties.**

**Why should the world be over-wise,**

**In counting all our tears and sighs?**

**Nay, let them only see us, while**

**WE wear the mask.**

**We smile, but , O great Christ, our cries**

**To thee from tortured souls arise.**

**We sing, but oh the clay is vile**

**Beneath our feet, and long the mile;**

**But let the world dream otherwise.**

**We wear the mask!**

After he finished the poem he felt a hand on his knee looking up he saw Harry ‘looking’ straight at him.

“Severus, I don’t want you to be bothered with me. You have worked hard to live and you don’t need me to be right there.”

“It’s only for a little while and then I will be free of everyone. You could move in with Pucey, I’m sure that he would love to have you around.” Severus will not think about how strange it felt, Harry’s hand on his leg and even stranger when he moved it. 

“Pucey, absolutely not! I rather live alone for the rest of my life, thank you very much. I wonder how many days until we kill each other?” The potion master couldn't help but chuckle at that, he himself thought about that many times.

He was ignoring the flutter of happiness in his chest when Harry didn’t want anything to do with Pucey.

“Well I am assuming either we will kill each other the first night, or it will be the day you leave because we will finally crack. I don’t believe you when you said you would rather live alone than to be with Adrian Pucey.” 

The younger man wrinkled his nose and shook his head, his head turned to face the window.

“Trust me Snape, there is only one person that I would be with. I’ve always known that this person would never feel the same way it doesn’t matter.” The potion master raised an eyebrow and thought about who this person could be. 

It couldn’t be the person he was thinking about but before he could keep himself from saying he blurted it out.

“Malfoy?!” He said very unlike himself. Harry barked out a laugh and shook his head.

“No, Merlin no! I like my men older and no it’s not his father either. I thought you were here to read and not worry about my love life? That is very unlike you Severus are you feeling alright?” Severus stopped quickly, yes he was worried too much about Harry and his love life.

“You are right brat, this is what happens when I spend so much time with you.” Severus reaches for another book he brought with him, watching the younger man bring up his knees to his chest.

“Then why are you here, and why are you letting me stay with you.” The potion master wanted to roll his eyes. He was done with Harry’s nonsense, he is going to make this man want to live no matter what. It was the only right thing to do. 

“Because I’m a glutton for punishment, now if you would be quiet I’m going to read. Then I might have bought some chocolates that you like, when we have tea.” Harry’s head raises pointed towards the window. “This is called Invitcus by William Ernest Henley.” 

**Invitcus**

**Out of the night that covers me,**

**Black as the pit from pole to pole,**

**I thank whatever gods may be**

**For my unconquerable soul.**

**In the fell clutch of circumstance**

**I have not winced nor cried aloud.**

**Under the bludgeonings of chance**

**My head is bloody, but unbowed.**

**Beyond this place of wrath and tears**

**Looms but the Horror of the shade,**

**And yet the menace of the years**

**Finds and shall find me unafraid.**

**It matters not how strait the gate,**

**How charged with punishments the scroll,**

**I am the master of my fate,**

**I am the captain of my soul.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I wanted to give this one a little update! I hope that you enjoyed it!!
> 
> The poems in this chapter are:  
> We Wear the Mask by Paul Laurence Dunbar  
> Invitcus by William Ernest Henley
> 
> As always Kudos and Comments are welcomed! They make my heart happy!


	3. Help!!

Hello everyone!! Sorry this is it a chapter update! This is a Help me update!! I so want to write more of this fic and all my others! 

Looking for someone to help me with ideas and maybe being a beta ... but mostly just help with story ideas and everything else!! So I just need friends that can deal with my craziness!!

You can get my by

Tumblr crickett_89

Or gmail crickettwithtwots@gmail.com 

Okay sorry again if you thought this was an update! 

I love you all!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Poems:
> 
> Suppose: By E.E. Cummings
> 
> Hollow men: By T.S. Eliot
> 
> Alone: Edgar Allen Poe
> 
> Hey guys! Okay so please let me know what you think of this! Let me know if you want to see more? This was just something that has been in my mind. I haven't written a bunch yet.. so please let me know if there is something you might want to see in this fic? 
> 
> Or if there is a pair that you would like me to write about!!!!
> 
> As always Kudos and Comments are welcomed! They make my heart happy!


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